Today, I will be talking to you guys about FAT and EATING DISORDERS. Physically speaking, FAT is the result of eating too many calories for your body to utilize. We can thank our ancestral biological functions for storing this excess in fatty deposits which lay domant beneath our skin. Fat stays in our body in preparation for scenerios like a famine, where we may not consume enough food to carry on with activities. BLah blah.
MENTALLY speaking, FAT is not just a few extra curves or bumps. In the eyes of our society (people in GENERAL), it is a negative and disgusting trait to have. Gaining excess fat is a something people avoid as it does not fit the "ideal image" of man or woman. EMOTIONALLY speaking, it is depressing and shameful to be fat. Many eating disorders stem from these feelings.
My question is: how did this all begin? I'm not a biology expert or anything but I do think that it's because we subconsciously associate skinny with being healthy. And, you know, healthy = higher chances of producing healthy babies. But, society seems to have taken this notion and EXPLOITED it, ruthlessly, to epic proportions. Countless number of ads containing sexual innuendo have ingrained the skinny ideal image of the female body and the buff ideal image of guys within our brains. "You have to look like this or you won't be happy," is that message the media is getting across. It's no wonder that we are being plagued with eating disorders.
Now, I know a lot of average and heavy people who are perfectly okay with their bodies. Then again, I know a lot of people who suffer from these eating disorders. I personally REALLY envy the former group. Beauty is a powerful thing to have when it comes to first impressions. I've seen both worlds b/c my face is plain/neutral, and I have been that 115lbs trendy Asian bitch and that 150lbs He-She. I can have people totally dismiss my presence or intimidate guys with a smile like Sayuri in "Memoirs of a Geisha." I personally hate this about being human because I'm very guilty of this. We all are.
ANYWAY, oftentimes, people with the right looks really do get the upperhand when applying for jobs, w/e or just getting attention in general. Don't believe me? Ask Tyra Banks.. or watch her show LOL More reason to vomit out that lasagna you had for dinner, EH?
I don't know how the statistics are right now for eating disorders, whether or not its rates are increasing or decreasing, but I see it as an epidemic. It's grown to such an extreme that people are growing more and more desensitized. Ie) "OMG STOP VOMITING IN THE SINK!! THE SINKS NOT MADE FOR PEOPLE TO VOMIT IN!! OMG JUST DRINK WATER IT HAS NO CALORIES AND IT MAKES YOU FULL OKAYYYYYY??!!!!!!!" <-- the very words of my friend's mother
I, myself, have suffered from anorexia, bulimia and binge eating, so this subject really does hit home. Why am I coming out? B/c .. dude what other example can I use lol I'm not going to exploit others for the sake of this essay. And I'm not trying to be an attention whore or anything, I just want to talk about this on a more personal level but w/e you're entitled to your own opinion.
I have heard comments claiming that people with eating disorders, poor self-esteem and such are narcassists, in the sense that they are obsessed with their appearances and care little about anything else. Dude, WHY THE FUCK would you LABEL people like that. First it's, "You're such a pig, stop eating!" and now it's, "You are weak for worrying so much about your weight. It is a sin. Stop being a narcassist." I swear, the world is so rotten because of indifference. Can you really blame a person for wanting to be more beautiful? LOL It sounds funny but like I said, beauty = power = respect = ^self-esteem = a big deal for ppl who are deficient of love and nurture in their life. Can you blame a person for wanting it to such an extreme that they will jeopardize their health for it so that they can EARN our respect and attention. Remember, these people have been bombarded with images of the perfect body for some time now thanks to the media.
However, I won't deny the fact that this want is selfish.. AS WITH ANY OTHER KIND OF WANT so what's the point of being so negative about it @_@ anything can look selfish under the fluorescent lighting of cynicism. "Oh that girl who does charity work? She just wants social status. Oh that guy giving up his seat for that old lady? He only wants that girl's attention."
I mean, if you want to revert people to healthier ways of viewing themselves LOL don't call them a narcassist.. the negatives won't cancel eachother out in this case. Actually it can, depending on the person. Just.. use positive reinforcement, please.
Why do I complain? I'm getting annoyed. I'm getting annoyed of people not understanding, and of people who choose to sabotage themselves. I'm getting annoyed of my own feelings toward my body and seeing my weight fluctuate because of these emotions and thoughts I'm battling. "Trying to be the best person I can be... THEREFORE I have to lose 40 pounds
" pft. I detox a lot because I associate detoxing with cleansing not only my body, but my life... like Blanche and her bathing rituals in Streetcar. Not an healthy combo, is it? It's crazy how so many things have happened to me in my life, but this mental conflict has proven to be more impacting.
It's not easy to get over something you've been obsessed about for so long. You've got to learn how to make it easy. Easy should be exactly that.. EASY 8-D. How? It depends on who you are and what will work for you. Get over it slowly, make small conscious and easy efforts to change. It takes disipline to change.. "discipline is like a muscle, the more you use it the stronger it gets." And jsut like building a muscle, you've got to take things slowly. If you're sugar sensitive, avoid sugary foods at all costs, eliminate it from your home! (it's like being an alcoholic) Exercise, go out more, listen to music, write.. actually ENJOY your food and the feeling of that ball of bolus go plop in your stomach. I could say more but this is already getting REALLY long. Oh, and most importantly, realize that fat is just fat.. these clumps of cute, balloony looking cells and have nothing to do with how great you truly are. Do yourself a favour and be free and be happy with yourself.
Don't hesitate to share your opinions. I'm totally open to insight, critiques, debates, w/e the hell you want.
And yeah, I am crazy. Hopefully you enjoy watching crazy people rant as much as I do.
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